The word is Str8ish and most people can’t define it. There is an absolute meaning to the term, but it is often confused with such words as bisexual, down low, curious,  etc. It is none of these things. Each of those has a unique definition of its own.

Str8ish: A Memoir

Str8ish is quite specific.  It refers to those individuals who willingly accept sleeping with a person of the same sex, though they are principally heterosexual and identify as such.  These same-sex experiences do not involve active searches for such sex.  Once found, the Str8ish person may become closely attached to, and have an active relationship with the same-sex partner, often lasting years, always disguised or hidden from all others, usually by both partners.

Usually, the relationships developed between the two parties last a long time; often for decades.  In these relationships, the Str8ish individual feels so comfortable with his or her same-sex partner that he or she is included in normal family life and/or business activities.

By comparison, bisexual and curious and individuals are more likely to engage in ‘quickie’ sexual encounters, usually meaningless and inconsequential.  The Str8ish relationships are meaningful, productive, and strong, but mostly important to each participant.

The comparison to those on the down low is simple.  Down low is defined as someone having multiple same-sex sexual encounters, while principally heterosexual.  Someone on the down low searches for and actively solicits for such encounters.  Str8ish individuals are willing to be found, generally selective, and principally do not search for such encounters or relationships.

Curious and bisexual men often claim to be straight.  Some are only gay for pay; accepting cash as a way to justify their homosexual activities, but these men rarely engage in long term relationships.  Their paid activities insure they won’t become attached to any one man.  It will, however, affect their lives eventually, leaving them without romance or so uncomfortable they cannot sustain relationships with men or women.

Str8ish relationships are usually based on love and affection, and after a long while, sexual activity no longer matters.  The relationship itself is more important for both partners.

Order your copy of Str8ish: A Memoir for Kindle at  The print edition available as well.

Str8ish: A Memoir has been reviewed by Britain’s top book reviewer, Emily May, who wrote:
“I know a lot of us were expecting Str8ish: A Memoir to be good, but I have to say, this book actually exceeded my expectations. I have a lump in my throat and I can’t stop thinking about it. I usually spend time making detailed notes while reading a book but, at one point, I opened Notes on my computer just to type “oh fucking god, this is so good”.”